Is there really such thing as a perfect relationship? How do we know if the person were with is the right one? Those are the kind of questions i've been asking my self for the longest time now.
I've been in a relationship before with a guy named MIKE. For me his the perfect man ive been with and having him is the best moment of my life. But our relationship is not like the way i wanted it to be. In short, our moments together are not worth keeping/ not PERFECT.
Everytime mike and i were together, lagi nalang naming napag-aawayan ang mga bagay na nagmumula sa napakababaw na dahilan, SELOS. Having a popular basketball player like mike is not that easy. Girls going crazy over him at campus are like competing with me in a thousand meter race. Ewan ko ba. Masyado na atang nangingibabaw ang selos sakin kaya pati maliliit na bagay napapansin ko. Ganito siguro pagmahal mo ang isang tao, ayaw mo syang mawala sayo.
Our first 6 months together was the worst days of our inter relationship. At first, i cant really adopt with the kind of environment that his into. If his not in class, his always in practice. Yung tipong di ko sya laging nakikita dahil his commited to his team. Para bang nag-aalangan akong ituloy pa ang relasyon naming dalawa noon. Napanghihinaan na ako nang loob dahil i felt alone. Its like being commited to someone invisible.
I broke up with Mike on our 6th month being together. That moment was the most unforgettable evening of my life. Mike cried in front of me that night. He was begging for may forgiveness. he understand what i felt and his sorry for making me feel this way. Dagdag pa nya, "kung kaylan kita kaylangan ngayon mo pa ako iiwan." I felt bad and at the same time i was touched. Nagyon lang may umiyak sakin nang ganito. Hindi ko inakalang may lalaking mangangailangan nang pagmamahal ko. All my life i've been waiting for this moment to come but i didnt realize that i will experience it with Mike.
Niyakap ko sya even without saying a word. I can feel deep in his heart that his truly sincere of his intentions. Pero at that night, isip ko ang pinagana ko and didnt even listen to what my heart has to say. I broke up with him and let him go. That was the most doubtful decision i've ever made.
Even if our relationship is over, di parin tumigil si Mike. His still there begging for my forgiveness. Asking me to give us a second chance. His still doing everything he can to win me back.
But after few months of waiting, It seems that everything has stopped between Mike and i. I dont see him that often. He even stopped sending me gifts and letters. Marami akong natatanggap na balitang his dating someone else pero i ignored everything para maiwasan kong masaktan.
Habang dumadaan ang araw, unti unti akong napagsisisihan ang mga maling disisyon ko from the past. Ngayon ko lang narealize kung gano ka importante sa buhay ko si Mike. Ngayon ko lang narealize kung gano ko sya kamahal.
One night, without even expecting it, Mike visited me. He was there wanting to talk to me. He was there thanking me for everything , for every moments we've had together. I wanted to hug him the moment i saw him but i cant. Its like someone's holding me back.
Mike told me that his setting me free. He wanted me to be happy for loving someone better than him. He told me that i will always have a special part in his heart and never will he regret that i've been a part of his life.
At that moment i was crying. Ayokong mawala sa akin si Mike. I want him to know what my heart has to say pero things has changed na pala. Things are not the same anymore. He love's some else.
Sobrang pagsisisi ang nadama ko noon. Kung puso lang sana ang pinairal ko hindi na sana ako umiiyak ngayon. All kinds of relationship are perfcet and there is no such thing as Mr. Right. Every man as long as you love him is perfect.
Loving is the most meaningful part of living. Dont be afraid of it. Natural lang na masaktan ang isang taong nagmamahal. Sabi nga nila, mas mabuti nang masaktan dahil masasabi mong nagmahal ka kesa di mo maranasang mahalin at magmahal.
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